Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
i've counted 4 condom wrappers but only 3 condoms. not again.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
You have not lived until you and a ginger miget chick are jumping and waving your arms in a pitch black bathroom to turn on the motion lights. Yes, today I have officially lived.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
According to the office gossip the new secretary is “a homewrecking whore”. Think I should spend $27 on a fake wedding ring?
Yes! Want that picture of you and my nephew?
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