I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
Honestly, your dog is in better hands with that homeless guy.
He counted every piece of macaroni in the box and then faceplanted into the bowl
Nothing like pulling a bottle of vodka out of your purse at 7am in the security line to make your fellow passengers uncomfortable...
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just got smoked out by my boss. Working in politics is great.
someone stole all your weed so you told us you were planning each of our deaths
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
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