So drunk, too bad you don't want this
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just puked in a mcdonalds cup while driving. Didn't even swerve.
you know its bad when everytime i put on a shirt i think of who i hooked up with in it
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
She is currently drunk and caressing my professor's face with one hand.
I'm worried because he hasn't removed it.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
Im about to get an ultrasound of my balls. I hate waiting. Its the worst.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
I don't mean to alarm you but are the strongest testicles in the family. I just learned I can lift 90 lb with my balls! Beat that.
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
