You know that restaurant that is like over by home depot?
That shitty one? I heard the food sucks there
It's my parent's restaurant
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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