sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
Apparently suggesting that she was the kind of girl who might be expected to kill someone's pets hurt her feelings...
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
Had to leave my skype meeting to vomit. I'm obviously ready for the real world.
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
Randomize
