Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
oh hey just found a glowstick in my tits. fuck yes new years eve
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
She asked me why there was $2 in the lunchmeat drawer of the fridge and BBQ sauce all over the kitchen... I'm not sure but I know it has something to do with you
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
The Vicodin is in the strawberries.
Alex thinks he can revoke my dick privileges haha.
Isn't he the one getting all the privileges ?
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