You're so nebulous sometimes
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
Her sister's ass was worth my getting thrown out of the house.
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
They called security on the security guard who tried to break up the party in their suite. You tell me how drunk they were.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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