Nicole vs. Life
so I was just driving high and I stopped to let a pinecone cross the road because I thought it was a hedgehog.
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
I stopped understanding conversations unrelated to vodka two vodkas ago.
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
I might be getting fired on this week so the only option i see for tonight is to get smashed and have an orgy. actually this idea might explain why i'm not an ideal employee.
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