do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
my penis says it needs to be in something. my phonebook says its you
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
True love: he brought me a margarita while I was n the shower. He's a keeper.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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