who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I'm taking her home. She just told a 90 yo woman in a packers hat to "suck her cock".
I dunno. Last time I went there I had got sexually propositioned by a Belgian prince.
I just want to go to their admissions office and show them the video of him taking the flaming shot, and be like yeah...you let in the kid who lit his entire face on fire over me.
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
I gave him my yeast infection. HOW THE FUCK DOES THAT EVEN WORK?
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
Well after we were arrested you just kept chanting "Like a good neighbor state farm is there"
I snuck out three pillows from the hotel i was rolling so hard. They are like little clouds. I regret nothing.
Currently doing the walk of shame out of some random girls house with my boyfriend. Talk about relationship goals.
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