Sorry I never got back to you. I got high. I know it sounds like a commercial or something... but its true
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
Can someone please explain where the fish in the mason jar came from when we were at a bar all night?
You told the bartender if he gave you one of the fish you'd go away
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
