Why did u sent me a picture of a dead horse?
i could hear you having sex and was jealous, wanted to kill the mood
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
i am literally watching eva make a trashbag diaper for you to sleep in tonight. whole new level of low for you.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
2 hours later, she made her cat watch the waterfall scene from Homeward Bound to teach her how good she has it here.
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
Randomize
