All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
my dad just told me he wants a furry wall in the house... i'm proud and concerned
all 3 of us brought blondes home last night. all 3 are passed out. we're gonna switch rooms and see how long until one of them notices.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
That's the point dumbass, I can't use my boss as a reference cause they'd have to fucking call him in prison.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I told her the job opening requires being on the phone during the week and on my face on the weekends. I think she wants the job.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Randomize
