): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Did you eat 9 cans of raviolii last night?
Come on man nobody wants to admit that
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
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