a very overweight girl in the ER just said she trippped over the invisible wii jump rope and fell
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
That chick who made out with a door is here. Want her number??
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
so it took us like 45 minutes to get into the party.... then when we wanted to leave we were blocked and forced to stay.
....you got kicked INTO a party??
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
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