1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
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