come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Why do the people I hook up with still exist after we're done?
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
Ok thats it i need a list. Full names, nicknames, in which frats, with a photo, of all the guys youve hooked up with because three of the same guys is ridiculous
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
my penis made a compromise with my morals
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