he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
Oh god. There is a bite mark in the bar of soap. Please tell me I was not that wasted.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
We talked him into tasing himself.
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
I puked into my skirt and then had to carry it to the bathroom and dump it out, Lmfao and it was like 2pm
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
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