some girl in front of me in class just googled "hungover+throwing up blood"
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
There are 144 bottles of wine in my mother's pantry. She just shrugged her shoulders and said it was for the wine pong tournament on Christmas Day.
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
He was imitating a sprinkler when he started puking. Hence- vomit sprinkler. Some people just can't handle their tequila
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