i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
he mailed me a thank you note for the blowjob.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
since you saved your number in my phone as "the hot chick you met last Friday" I don't know who you are either
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I just stood on my roof naked pouring vodka onto my garden. sweet dreams
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
Randomize