She looked like cheddar but tasted like limburger...
As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So getting a bj to I believe I can fly is one of the greatest things ever
Naked Twister starts at high noon
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
The power of my boobs compel you
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
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