i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
So I got drunk last night and attempted to shave a landing strip on my vag. I now have a 8 lane highway on my crotch now. Just looks like a random ass square.
I just did shots of fireball with my dad in a car wash. How's your pregaming going?
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
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