You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Smoking a bowl in nothing but a flamingo thong.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize