the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
At what point did we agree that playing bocchi ball on the way to the liquor store was a good idea?
Can we please not be like these pathetic people in their thirties who only get drunk when they go see Sherrill Crow?
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
I have no inclination to even want to think about what God's existential meltdown is going to be like. O.o
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
