if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
dude chill. we stole 18 hamburgers from her house
no. you cant fuck a burger.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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