she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Apparently oprah and I were in competition to see who's ass could get bigger this summer
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just read the 12 signs you're a horrible roommate post and fucking in your roommate's bed wasn't on the list, so I'm a pretty awesome roommate.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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