Pregnant stripper...not hot.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
so either half this theatre is as stoned as me, or day daybreakers is hilarious
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
It's not even 11, i dropped a shot glass, nick is bleeding, and everyone is drunk
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Randomize
