im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
I should just black out in my front yard again- that was a great nights sleep.
Well, I'm hung over and my penis hurts - two signs of success
He was asleep with his head on a windowsill and you were petting his head, then you almost left the kitchen and then went back to pet him some more.
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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