i hate sounding clingy, but i just wanted to verify i wasn't an asshole in your mind
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
She was blacklisted from the Uhaul center...what the fuck do you have to do to get blacklisted from a Uhaul center
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
I'm promising sexual favors in return for his responsible life decisions. Now THIS is growing up.
Best elective surgery ever. Having a great time ignoring girls' pleas to pull out and blowing it inside anyway. I like to watch them absolutely freak out and go batshit crazy for 20 mins before I mention the snip-snip surgery. Power trip.
my question is who was more confortable? You sleeping on the floor or me tweeting from a bush?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
Nah, he's definitely here somewhere. Whether he survived the night or not is your problem, but I'm pretty sure he's around.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
She got a boob job, dumped her husband, became a stripper, got a DUI in her Porsche and is now dating her lawyer
I’m making her my life coach if med school doesn’t work out
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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