Thinking about bringing a vibrator to the tanning bed...kill two birds with one stone right?
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
2 classes, 3 finals, and $30 worth of adderall until this semester is over.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Randomize
