Our friend ended up naked, bleeding, requesting we throw a couch at him cause he was convinced he could block it
We did he did.
When I say naked, I mean penis exposed. Not in boxers
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I AM NOT LOSING TO SOME FICTIONAL CROSSDRESSER
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
Omg I just smoked and it was the end so I basically got resin and death, my throat feels like the twilight vampire description of their thirst for blood
Randomize
