woke up this morning with pubes superglued to my face, not my pubes
I'm going to get so drunk tonight, I actually feel bad about the 30 seconds of drunken awkward sex I'm going to have with one lucky fat chick.
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Maybe if more guys knew my pillowtalk occasionally includes me scribbling notebook diagrams of cell signalling pathways, I'd get laid more often
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
The milf did the body paint, come to the bar
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
