please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I just used an app to identify a song that was playing in the background of a porno. May god bless your soul steve jobs.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
