you turned your livingroom into a bong?
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
My boogers are black from last night. So that's either from all the colored hairspray or inhaling all of the tragedy from the party...
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
The best part is every argument that she makes from here on out will be refuted by "Oh hey remember that time you shit yourself wearing someone else's sweatpants at a frat party?"
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
I think I was just motorboated by a 4-year old girl.
I figured it out! There's blood on the kitchen floor because I fell into the dishwasher. And there's a face dent. And it doesn't work.
Yea.....I saw that happen.
Randomize
