found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
...there was a woman in the stall next to me in the Walmart bathroom having a massive bowl movement and whispering "I'm sorry" over and over
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
We were having sex but then he spanked me and i punched him but it was just a reflex i swear
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
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