HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
WHEN YOU HAVE SEX WITH A GUY FROM A DIFFERENT COUNTRY YOURE SUPPOSED TO NEVER SEE THEM AGAIN
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
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