then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
Dude, she got on top of me, grumbled in a low voice "I'm going to make you remember me", and then farted.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
He plays D&D and his dick should be carved out of marble. I think I'm in love.
My drug dealer just told me goodnight...I still don't know his name. But I guess you can say we've moved to the next step.
Randomize
