Bea Arthur died yesterday
You shut your stupid mouth
Betty White is next, I just know it.
Betty White will never die! She's like Dick Clark. Rue McCalahan is next.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
I want you to come here and listen to her climax and then tell me how funny you think it is.
Sorry for walking in on you guys last night. FYI I have a bruise on my forehead from having the door slammed in my face. I deserved it.
do you find it slutty that the last person I had sex with is also the person who sings my ringtone ?
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
The best part about daylight savings time this weekend is we get an extra hour to be fucked up.
Just remember, the Browns have more wins than Ronda Rousey this year.
I'm just going to take a nap and hope I wake up more attractive.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Randomize
