I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
He fingered me while we both sang the fresh prince theme song.
Marry him
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Is it rude if I ask the current tenets of our future apartment if I can come and blackout for a night? I want stupendously drunk me to get a feel for the place so he's comfortable when we move in.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
