Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
We learned a valuable lesson from last night. You can, in fact, order bacon on a Big Mac.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
My uncrustable is thawing in my straightener
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
It’s like I’m living in some alternate wet dream universe right now
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Randomize
