Asian hipster sighting. About to tackle him and ask him to take me to chinatown
they say Disney World is the happiest place on Earth. It's a close second to the Super 8 on route 18. That place holds some great memories.
I got drunk at the beach today. I got the word Badass! tatooed all the way across my foot. Probably a bad idea.
I need ur penis! This is not drunk texting, either! This is I need ur penis texting. There IS a difference!
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
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