my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
No, seriously, I've slept with 3 guys this month.
It's ok, February is a short month
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Randomize
