You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Pregnant stripper...not hot.
We were done making out and had been asleep for a hour. I felt him put his hand on my butt. Then I farted.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
Sex should not remind me of how baby birds get fed
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
I really prefer to do my walks of shame in the summer
What's an appropriate gift to bring to my boyfriend's wife's baby shower?
Shame?
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
