How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I didn't realize he wasn't circumcised... it looked like the Unibomber...
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
We found her naked passed out on the bathroom floor. She didn't even make it to the shower. She was clutching the bathroom rug.
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
I blacked out after the piñata full of condoms
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