i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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