bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Just so you know. And I'm telling you this because I care deeply for you. Blue raspberry poptarts taste exactly the same as the regular raspberry ones.
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Are you still in his room?
Nope, yogged home at 8 am with one shoe on.
There are only a few things more freaky than wandering around a zoo drunk.
Randomize
