I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
Randomize
