She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Please come and rip my uterus out before it does it itself
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
someone just "made it rain" kraft processed sliced cheese. i forgot what it was like to be home...
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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