i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
i have absolutely no control over my now miserable and whore-ish lifestyle.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
it only took 2 hours but we managed to melt the purity ring down with a butane torch
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
Randomize
