so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
I'm sober in pajamas at a bar. Nothing is ok about that statement.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
He's cute when he's drunk, too. Also he tried to fight my door...
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
Sorry I steam cleaned at 1:30 in the morning and that i'm such a drunk dumb child. On the bright side, my carpet has ever looked better.
Randomize
