They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Our night has progressed to doing coke off a laundry machine through a parking ticket
Woke up snuggling with a large wooden rhino that I stole last night...obviously, we had fun.
I'm currently watching porn and playing beer pong with wine in the lobby of a hotel with a squadron of hot airforce guys. You can never say your life is better than mine again
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
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