I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Ok that kid was ether gay or 12 with a beard.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
That accounts for only three of the penises
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
I just shit my bed. Go ahead and make your 40 year old incontinence jokes now.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
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