That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
Okay well someone asked "IS HE HOMELESS?" about me so I need to try and find somebody.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I'm not proud of how I threatened that 8 year old during drunken laser tag
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
He broke up with me over the phone while I was getting my bush waxed into a "D" for his surprise birthday present. Talk about bad timing...
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
His roommates are gone so we had sex in every room of the house and watched the wire. What have you done today?
The chances of me making out with someone next weekend are about the same as me not remembering it.
Randomize
