Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
She's more of a "I'm gonna get herpes no matter how great her face looks like" pretty
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
WHY IS IT FROWNED UPON THE DRESS UP IN CAT COSTUMES AND SIT OUTSIDE OF BARS WITH A BOX OF WINE I THOUGHT THIS WAS AMERICA
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Randomize