The brown eye won't let me do that either.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Also. I plan to spend time with you at boomers, high, teaching ourselves how to pee standing up.
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
We knew we were dealing with a pro when some random guy at the bar thew you over his shoulder and you still didn't spill your drink
Strangely enough, that's not the first time that's happened
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
