everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
They were going around the house breaking things and screaming "Not my house!"
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
I'd introduce you to the guys, but you'd probably make them all fall in love with you
I could do with a Floridian man-harem. Let's do this.
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
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