Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just found out that my father was a Human condom for halloween when I was 4. And to think I used to wonder where my sense of humor came from.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
my car smells like vomit and bananas. this can't really be my life.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I just baptized the girl next to me. LONG LIVE THE CHURCH OF VODKA
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I just can't have sex in the car again. it's just too much
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Randomize
